Saturday, July 3, 2010

I'm Sorry..

Remember that night when I told you that I was marble,that I wasn't able to feel?

You weredesperately calling after menot to walk so fast and leave you behind in the dark forest.You were pleading with me not to give up on something that was real to you,something that could have been more magical than I thought it was.I didn't have enough faith to trust,yet you were urging me against those fears.You were right there in frontof me,and perhaps for once in my life you could have been the realest thing I ever encountered in my life.Perhaps you embodied something real and solid somewhere in you,something I could hold on to.You could have been my lifebuoy.You were right there why couldn't I see the light under your skin back then?Why did you only seem like a pillar of fear to me?Why,under the stars and beneath the trees,did you seem so transient,so momentary?I thought you were going to vaporize into mist and leave me there.I didn't want to be the one left behind first,I wouldn't for stand it.So I was selfish and ran away.You were trailing behind me,calling after me but I refused to slow down.I ran till your face became a blur,till your being became a speck in the distance,till I couldn't see the frantic waving of your arms anymore.till you were gone.

After seasons had passed,I began to worry about how you were doing in that forest.I wondered if you became a pixie or one of those goblins.But whatever you became,it was my fault for leaving you behind.It must've been terrifying,being there alone in the cold.As night turned to days and days turned to night.How many nights did you spend there,watching leaves detach themselves from their trees,watching fairies shed tears over wilting flowers that they were unable to save?You must have seen enough to tell me a story.

One night,I crept out of bed and snuck out of my house.I went back to the same forest where I last left you.I began calling out your name but I couldn't hear your voice.Maybe you were calling back to me in the wind but it wasn't loud enough.Or maybe you were angry with me and you were cautiously watching me from behind a silver oak tree,but you refused to make a sound because you decided that I should die with guilt in my heart(I killed yours with cruelty)

If I stayed in the forest for as long as you did,waiting for you,would you appear before me again?If I stayed behind with you back then,I know that all those cold haunted nights you spent alone would have been magical and enchanting instead.

After all,we ran in the forest together,but I ran out first.I'm sorry.

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